


It's Okay To Remember

by writerstrash



Series: Mr. Stark & His Kid [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Irondad, Other, Sad Peter, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-19 13:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19975039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerstrash/pseuds/writerstrash
Summary: It's the anniversary of the death of Peter's parents, and no one can find him.





	It's Okay To Remember

Peter didn't want to wake up. Most mornings, he would wish for another ten minutes of sleep before having to wake and get ready for school, but today he needed more. It had been hard to fall asleep the night before knowing the date of the morning he would wake. It had been hard to push away the same dream he had every year on that night ever since he was a little boy. 

In his dream, his parents were alive. The three of them were walking to the park, each of Peter's hands held tightly in their own, swinging between the two as they all laughed and played. That was the only sound in his dream. Laughter. The sound of birds chirping and other children giggling as they ran around the park. Peter had forgotten the sound of their voices long ago. Now anytime he thought about them, he relived memories in silence.

Every day he lost a little bit more of them. Their smell. Their touch. Their faces. Peter only had photos to keep his memories alive. Their home videos were fuzzy and the sound just wasn't right. But their smiles and Peter's obvious joy of being with them was so clear on the screen that it broke the teenager's heart every time he watched. So he stopped watching. That was three years ago. Every year the anniversary changed as well. He stopped staring at his dad's shirt that hung in the closet, he stopped looking at the homemade socks his mom had made for his little baby feet. His heart couldn't take it.

"Pete, I made pancakes honey," May's voice softly filtered to his senses. "Come and get them while they're warm,"

Peter grumbled, rubbing his eyes. He wasn't sure if he really got any sleep at all.

"I'll be out soon," he agreed.

That was something that hadn't changed. Every year, even though May was mourning just as Peter was, she was softer than usual. Her voice was gentler, quieter, as if she needed to walk on eggshells around Peter for the whole day. As a kid, she let Peter have the day off school and would take him to the movies or the park or to get ice-cream and sit in silence together. But Peter knew he couldn't devote an entire day to mourning anymore. It killed him every year, but he needed to make this day as mundane as any other if he was going get through it. 

Peter wandered out into the kitchen a few minutes later, still rubbing his eyes which were dark and sunken, indicative of how little sleep he actually had. May noticed, but said nothing. She knew why he couldn't sleep, it was the same reason she was running on empty today as well.

"I got the good stuff," May smiled, pushing the bottle of maple syrup toward Peter.

He smiled, shaking his head.

"Remember when you caught me-"

"Drinking half the bottle? Yeah, I remember," May laughed. "Learned your lesson with that tummy ache though, didn't you?"

They both ate in silence with the exception of some forced small talk to fill the long stretches of quiet. Neither of them like this day at all, especially because of how different they were than usual. Neither of them had their bubbly outlook for the day. Neither made their usual jokes. Neither wanted to admit the date.

When Peter left for school, May hugged him tight as usual, but this hug went on a little longer. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and gave him a fond smile, rubbing his arm as Peter smiled back and turned toward the door.

The bus ride was quiet for Peter. The crowded seats screamed around him as usual with students laughing and arguing and throwing around various items. But to Peter, they weren't even there. He had his earphones in, but he didn't play any music. Instead he sat there, staring out the window at nothing in particular, until the bus eventually slowed and stopped in front of his school. 

Peter filed out of the bus behind the others like a zombie, mindlessly moving in the crowd. But as the others rushed around him and continued on through the gates, Peter stopped. Looking around, he knew Ned would be waiting for him somewhere to hang out before class and catch him up on whatever he missed on their usual gaming night beforehand, he saw his opportunity to leave before he could be noticed. Rushing across the road, Peter kept up his pace until he was a few streets from the school before ducking into an alley and quickly changing into his suit. 

Then he was off again, but this time he roamed the sky instead, swinging thoughtlessly, taking in the overwhelming smell of fresh air. 

* * *

Tony was sitting at the kitchen bench, finishing off his third and final cup of coffee for the day, when his phone rang. 

_May Parker_

He knew what today was. Tony kept track of Peter, in fact he had a whole file on Peter's life, including dates for big life events. Events such as death of parents. Which is why Tony had kept his distance today. He and Peter normally traded texts throughout the day, checking in with one another, arranging lab visits and projects, and Tony found himself missing his witty replies and confusing memes. But Tony lost his parents too. He understood what it was like when that day rolled around each year. Some people, including Tony, just wanted to be left alone. They didn't want to talk, they didn't want to be reminded, they didn't want to relieve the meaning of that day.

Tony knew May would understand that. He knew that May was having a tough day too. Which is why he worried that the woman was calling him.

"May?" he answered. 

_"Hi Tony,"_ she sighed. _"Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but is Peter with you?"_

Worry. Immediate worry.

"He's not," he replied quickly. "What's going on?"

_"I got a call from Ned asking if he could come by and see Peter since he wasn't at school, but I watched him get on the bus. He had his bag, ate his breakfast, and went to school. I don't...I don't know why he would skip...it's not like him. I know it's a rough day, but Peter doesn't just take off. And if he wasn't going to school, he would have told me. He knows I don't mind if he wants to stay in today,"_

May was panicking. 

"Ned hasn't heard from him either?"

_"No, and he's not answering my calls, it's going straight to voicemail."_

Tony thought, realising he had a clear advantage in finding Peter. He would feel terrible for doing it, though. Tony told Peter he wouldn't track him, he wouldn't invade his privacy, but this wasn't Tony being nosy. This was Tony tracking him down to calm his worried Aunt and best friend. And Tony.

"Let me try and find him," Tony offered. "He might just be taking some time out,"

 _"I just want to know he's okay,"_ May explained with a worried sigh. _"If you hear from him, if you find him, let me know. I'm at work but I'll answer my phone if you or Peter call, okay? Please let me know he's okay."_

"I will May, you've got my word," Tony promised.

Tony put his phone down, closing his eyes and shaking his head. Now he was worried too. 

Sure, teenagers skipped school. They blew off steam at the mall, the park, they went and got hot-dogs or ice-cream or hid out in arcades all day. But Peter wasn't one of those teenagers. If Peter went somewhere, he let May know. If he didn't go to school, he made sure no one worried. 

"Friday, got a location on Peter?" he asked.

 _"Mr Parker has switched off his cell phone, boss._ _"_

Right. So the kid didn't want to be found. He didn't want to talk. But Tony needed to find him.

Surely he wouldn't be out in the suit today. But that's exactly where Tony would be.

"The suit?" Tony asked.

 _"Mr Parker's suit was activated several hours ago. It is currently in Queens, New York._ _"_

"He's back home?"

 _"No, boss. Sending coordinates for location now_ _."_

* * *

Peter couldn't remember how long he had been sitting on top of the building, but his cheeks were beginning to go numb from the chilly night air. He knew he should call May. Let her know he was okay. Tell her he had been at Ned's and that he would be home soon.

But time meant nothing to Peter today. He had spent hours just staring out at the street and the people below. He hadn't even eaten, and he felt no desire to now. 

He was staring at a family in a little apartment, watching the mother serve up dinner, gathering her children around. It was so normal and comforting. It made Peter feel sick to his stomach.

"Kid?"

Peter jumped, turning to see Tony standing behind him. His suit was standing at his side, open where Tony had just stepped out. Peter hadn't even heard the usual whoosh of the suit flying toward him. He hadn't heard the clink of metal when he landed. He hadn't heard a thing. His senses were all off. Tony watched him worriedly. Peter had his mask off, fidgeting with it in his hands, as he stared back at the man.

"W-what are you doing here?" Peter asked, thinking briefing before realising. "You tracked me?"

"Your aunt called me," Tony shook his head. "You go off the radar and turn your phone off, I'm gonna track you,"

Peter looked hurt.

"Is she worried?"

"What do you think?"

"I didn't mean to make her day worse," he sighed, hanging his head. "I just...I knew Ned would be asking where I was and I just wanted a break,"

Tony frowned, wandering over to take a seat on the ledge by Peter's side. He wasn't a big fan of dangling his feet off the edge of tall buildings, but with the suit nearby and Peter's spider reflexes, he felt better about it. Not comfortable, but better. He sent a quick message to May letting her knew he found Peter, to ease her worries, and then he tucked his phone back into his pocket.

"Nice spot," he broke their silence.

Peter gave a nod. Tony would have to prod more.

"View's okay. There's better. So, why this building?"

"I like the view here," Peter shrugged, looking at the apartment again.

Tony followed his line of sight.

"Do you know them?"

Peter shook his head, biting at his lip.

"I used to live there," he told the man, voice soft. "My first home. With my parents."

Tony should have seen that coming. There was no doubt in his mind that this was about his parents, but he hadn't expected that. Tony looked over to the family through the window. They looked happy. Content. Loved.

"It's a nice place,"

"Your bathroom is probably bigger than the whole apartment," Peter shook his head, joking. "But it was big enough for us."

"Do you remember living there?"

"Not really. I remember parts of it. Like, if I sat where they are right now, I could see the moon most nights. My mom sat there with me late at night when I couldn't sleep. We'd try and count the stars, but I could never stay awake longer than ten."

Tony smiled. He could imagine baby Peter fighting against sleep just to stay awake and stare. Peter still had so much innocence and curiosity now. 

They fell into silence once again and it carried on for almost ten minutes. Peter swung his legs, staring over at the family and then moving to look at the cars down below. The sun was almost completely gone now, but he hadn't even noticed. 

"Do you want to talk about them?" Tony asked, turning to the boy.

Peter shook his head, and then he shrugged.

"No...I...maybe," he sighed. "Do you ever forget about your parents?"

Tony thought for a moment, shaking his head.

"Some days I think about them a little less, sure. But no. You never forget."

"I think about them every day," Peter nodded. "I wish I didn't. I wish I could just...get _over_ it."

"You don't have to get over it, Pete," Tony offered. "Who says that?"

"What if I can't ever get over this day?" the teen asked. "What if every year I just sit there in silence and mope around like a baby?"

"You're allowed to do that, and you're _not_ a baby, Peter. There's nothing wrong with feeling all of that, kid. Nothing."

Peter sighed, shaking his head.

"They've been gone so long I can't even remember their voice, but I still get...I get like _this_ every year," 

Tony reached out to put an arm around Peter's shoulders.

"You know, when I have that day, I do the same thing," Tony admit. "I go to my lab. I sit there alone, and I just work. Sometimes I don't even do anything, I just sit there. There's so much on my mind but at the same time, there's _nothing_ on my mind. You get that?"

Peter nodded.

"That's what I feel like. I can't stop thinking but I...it's all just noise. I just stare at things and I space out without even realising," he explained. "I just...I really miss them."

Tony's heart was breaking.

"I know you do," he sighed, rubbing Peter's arm.

"I wish they were here," the boy cried, finally letting out some tears. "I wish I turned out the way they wanted me to, you know?"

"You're everything they would have wanted for you, Peter. Everything and more," Tony assured. "They would be so proud of you,"

"You don't know that," Peter denied.

"I do know that," Tony argued. "Because _I'm_ proud of you, Peter. And I know I'm not...I'm not your mom or your dad or your aunt, okay? But, shit, I would be _so_ goddamn lucky if I were. You're the best kid I've ever known, Pete."

Peter leaned into Tony's embrace, resting his head against the billionaire's chest and letting his eyes fall closed. Tony held him tight, feeling his heart constricting in his chest. They remained like that for twenty minutes, watching stars light up the sky and streetlights shine around all of the cars.

"Mr. Stark?" came Peter's soft, sleepy voice.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad that...if I don't have my parents, I have you," Peter admit. "You and May are everything to me. And if I didn't have you Mr. Stark I...I'm just really glad you don't find me too annoying. That you still put up with me. I love you, Mr. Stark."

Tony took a moment to respond, not wanting to sound shaky. But his emotions were on another level now. He loved this kid with every fibre of his being. 

"I'm s-sorry if that was too weird, Mr. St-"

"Shh," Tony shook his head. "I love you too, kid."

Neither chose to move. They just sat there in silence, holding one another, letting themselves feel every emotion that ran through their bodies. Sadness. Anger. Grief. Love. 

And if Tony had to feel all of those things down to his core, he was glad it was for Peter. There wasn't a thing on this Earth Tony wouldn't do for him. 

"I'd be lucky too, you know," Peter mumbled a moment later. "If you _were_ my mom or dad or aunt. I'd be so, so lucky."


End file.
